a series of unfortunate events . . . involving a wet bed

At some point over the weekend, my bed apparently changed it's name . . . and it's entire identity. Much to my surprise, ( & chagrin, anger, annoyance, etc ) *ahem* the ruler of the apartment, we shall call her Queen Rue, decided that my bed was no longer "Comfy Place To Cuddle Up With My Mom And A Great Stepping Stone Onto The Windowsill" but "Litter Box Number 2."

Now, as much as I love and spoil Her Highness, she does NOT need two litter boxes. And one of them does NOT need to be my bed and the amazing concotion of sheets and blankets that lie therein. My washing and dryer machines are tired, poor things. They have had to wash my sheets three times within the span of two days. I'm tired. I've had to put my sheets in said washer and dryer machines three times within the span of two days. Rue . . . WHY???? I've given you only the best in life . . . I've given you food, water, medicine, a box full of toys, a cat bed, the leftover milk from my cereal, Love and Attention . . . *throws hand dramatically across forehead, cues orchestra, squirts eyedrops into eyes for similarily dramatic tears of anguish*

Through consultation with my friends and my friends with cats, we have determined a list of possible reasons that Rue McRuester (aka "Cat" when I'm angry at her) has decided to paw my sheets like they are litter:

1. My attempt to get her to use a covered litter box on Sunday totally screwed with her mind, as it was like in form to that of a cat carrying case (which she loathes). But, I removed the top to the box and although this new bottom half is deeper, she does use it.
2. She only pees on my bed when I'm in the room because she is mad at me.
3. She only pees on my bed when I'm in the room because she loves being around me so much that she can't bear to be out of my presence for the two minutes it would take to walk down the hallway and use the REAL litter box.

I could put major cat deterrent stuff on my bed . . . but I enjoy cuddling with her on the bed and don't want to scare her away from it completely . . . but I also can't live with constantly changing my sheets.