Salmon Soda

I know that Americans are oftly fond of the unique. Especially when it's one-of-a-kind . . . and we own it. We have learned quite well how to make sure it gets noticed, either by a flashing hand or a subtle/not-so-subtle hint within conversation. I know this. But I really wonder why in the heck someone on this planet has enough time, enough inclination, and enough money to concept and actually create salmon-flavored soda. Can one even claim its appeal lies in novelty? Is it even possible?! I think not. Such a declaration would imply that any appeal, of any sort whatsoever, lay within it.

Really, I like fish. I do. In fact, salmon is my favorite fish Of All Time. I'm a little unhappy though, about the fact that at least for the next week I associate it with a completely unpleasant and vile drink. It's orange-pink. It tastes like salmon (really, that's all I need to say), and it slides down your throat in liquid form. Gah . . . gross eew eew eew *twitching and all sorts of uncomfortable motions.* Is it too much to ask that we keep fish in it's natural form and not apply its flavor to soda?

And thus, as I ponder the ever-horrifying concept of salmon-flavored soda, I find the urge to pen this:

REAL MEN OF GENIUS *Real Men of Genius!*

We salute you Mr. Salmon-Flavored-Soda-Creator-Man. *Mr. Salmon-Flavored-Soda-Creator-Man!* You took a step out of the box - waaay out side of the box, when you combined our favorite pink fish with a carbonated beverage. *TRUE harmony of nature and taste!* Regular, Diet, . . . who cares? As long it's in a cool bottle, that's all that really matters *SO pretty and pink!* We take comfort in the fact that somewhere, somehow, there is a way to eat salmon without using a fork or a knife .*CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!* As we throw up in the nearest trash can, we salute you Mr. Salmon-Flavored-Soda-Creator-Man . . . because nothing says "satisfying" like a fishy aftertaste. *Mr. Salmon-Flavored-Soda-Creator-Man!"